InsaneJournal

I created an IJ account
...because Score won't find me here.

I just need a breather from time to time, you know? And not worry about how he will interpret my words.

The stupid fool somehow thinks that I want a girlfriend. Sometimes, he's so clueless I want to cry.

I just...I'm his best friend, and I know that he doesn't think of girls that way (or boys), so in a way that's a great relief.

Sometimes, though, I wonder--is it really Jade that's the problem here? That's what I've always thought before. But maybe--maybe I'm just too convenient for him. I've always been there for him when he needs a friend, brother, partner-in-crime, co-conspirator, Potions partner, dueling practice partner...

Is he so content with my company that it just doesn't occur to him to be interested in people in that way?

Whether this is true or not, I know that I _can't_ be anything less to him. I can't scoot away when he wants a hug, or a pat in the back, or a hundred different human touches that he just needs. I'm glad he comes to me for those touches, I really am. It's just--

I'm in love with my best friend and I'm fucked.